I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
