Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
