I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
