can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
