you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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