how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
