dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
