North Korea, Best Korea!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
