Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
