you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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