Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
