Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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