the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
