Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
