mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize