You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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