the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
