stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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