i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
