shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
