im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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