He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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