i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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