Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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