It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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