Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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