while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
