I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
