The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
