come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Are we still banned from the library?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
