so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
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its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
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Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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