Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
