I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
as a side note pls kill me
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
