Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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