3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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