yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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