Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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