I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
