dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
The best revenge is premature balding
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
MIDGETS
????
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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