god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
