I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
