omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize