so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
They are going to name an STD after you.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
