Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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