also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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