I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
