i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I have aggressive nipples.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize