i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
