Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
