therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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