she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
