DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I am available for nakedness
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
