I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
