Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
