He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
