I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
