Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
